I’m talking about the election next year, people. I kept thinking that maybe there was some hope in the Republican party, but what a let down! I really can’t see any of these presidential hopefuls winning big in 2012. Why? Let’s take a look, shall we?
Sarah Palin: I’m praying to God that she doesn’t enter the race. But if she does, I’m pretty sure that she will somehow mess it up for herself by either continuing to make up American history or by accidentally revealing to the world that she doesn’t read the news and cannot name one news publication on camera.
Michele Bachmann: What terrifies me most is the fact that Bachmann has a lot of Republican support right now. What? How? Why? But not to worry. It’s just a matter of time before she starts to become the next Sarah Palin. Just like with Palin, a sizeable portion of really odd Americans will somehow still support her and not be completely embarassed by her, while the majority of people will look back to when they considered her Presidential material and say, “What the hell was I thinking?” Like Palin, she has the strange habit of rewriting history, and she also is coming under a lot of fire because her family-owned clinic apparently thinks that they can “cure” gay people. Yeah, okay.
Mitt Romney: Who? This guy seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. He is probably the most sane of all the GOP hopefuls, but despite having millions of dollars, he seems to be a PR failure. Unfortunately, people seem to be a little biased towards him because of his Mormon faith as well, though I’m not sure how much that has to do with his depressing poll numbers.
Tim Pawlenty: I like you sometimes, Tim. Refusing to sign the pledge against gay marriage was cool, as was publically stating that Michele Bachmann hasn’t achieved much in Congress. (To be fair, he isn’t the only GOP candidate who refused to sign the pledge, but still…) And the fact that he’s a Lady Gaga fan? Wow. But with all seriousness, though I don’t agree with a lot of his political views, he seems to be right where the majority of Republicans are in terms of opinions on what needs to be done in the White House. He just isn’t that exciting or something. His poll numbers and fundraising efforts have not been great, so apparently people are bored with him and would rather watch trainwrecks like Sarah Palin on the nightly news.
Jon Huntsman: This guy is pretty legit. As Obama’s Ambassador to China, he obviouslysurpasses most other candidates in terms of intelligence and experience. He is socially conservative, but breaks the mold by supporting civil unions and encouraging government to become more active in environmental problems. I don’t like his stance on several issues — he is a bit too right-wing for my taste — he seems to have it together. To be honest, I don’t quite understand why his poll numbers aren’t better. His biggest issue seems to be the fact that he is friends with Glenn Beck.
Rick Santorum: Anytime this guy opens his mouth, he offends someone. Somehow he has managed to make every racist, sexist, and homophobic statement possible. Sorry to break it to you, but if you offend every American out there, there is going to be no one left to vote for you. Someone obviously never learned how to play nice on the playground with others.
Herman Cain: Oh, Herman. You were so promising. You even caught my interest way back when, so I wrote a blog post or two about you. You are a very intriguing and intelligent person, but some of your views and comments? Good God, man. Seriously? Between stating that you wouldn’t appoint a Muslim to your cabinet to saying that communities should have the right to ban mosques, your discriminatory views are too much to handle. Maybe pissing off and alienating a couple million Americans with your comments wasn’t the smartest thing to do…
Newt Gingrich: Hahahaha. You’re joking, right?